This is a Creative Post Title.

...and these are not the droids you're looking for...

Does anyone else out there feel like every successive year of their life goes by faster than the last? I'm absolutely boggled by the fact that, this weekend, it will be May. MAY, internet! How is that even possible?!? There is simply no way we are five months into 2010. Someone MUST be playing a trick on me.

Speaking of tricks, I just figured out how to format this text. Yay for bold script! I'll be making myself a cake to celebrate.

Speaking of cakes, last night, my boyfriend, my roommate and I ate an entire frozen cheesecake out of a tin. This was justified, in my opinion, by the fact that the Caps lost. I probably could have eaten the whole thing by myself, but it was more polite and less detrimental to share.

STILL speaking of cakes, here's a wedding cake I did in blue and white. It was blue-and-white-checkered vanilla cake with vanilla buttercream frosting. I'd venture a guess that their colors were blue and white.

Communication is the Key to a Healthy Relationship.

Howdy, browsers of the inter-tubes! Given that I truly and deeply love you all and would like to foster our special connection, I realize that I should be more open to communication. Thus, I present to you the greatest gift a cake-making blogger can give her loyal readers: her email. It's elliemakescakes@gmail.com.

In all seriousness, it was brought to my attention that I had no contact information whatsoever on this blog. I've now corrected that, and expect that the emails will soon come flowing into my inbox like an influx of...well, emails. Sorry, internet- I was up far too late last night to be cleverly snarky today. Honestly, I'm lucky to be coherent. At least I have proven conclusively that cake is not a cure for insomnia. I hope I haven't broken the hearts of any late-night snackers!

Here's today's cake. Feel free to EMAIL me with any comments...hehe.

"Rawr!" is Lion for, "I'm Sorry for Not Posting."

Really, it is. I speak fluent lion. What's that? You'd like me to say something else? Oh, ummm...uhhh...maybe I'm not FLUENT-fluent. I'm just conversationally proficient, especially if you would like to have a conversation about me apologizing for not blogging. I'm great in that conversation!

Anyway, sorry for the giant lapse in posts. I don't even have a good excuse this time- I simply got busy with work/life and neglected this blog. You have my sincerest apologies, internet. You also have today's cake. This was banana with chocolate buttercream frosting. It seemed appropriate for a jungle cake.

Always Practice Safe Cake-making. Use a Condiment.

I've never honestly cared much for ketchup. Sure, I'll put it on fries if I find myself lacking reserves of vinegar, blue cheese dressing, ranch dressing, and sweet-and-sour sauce. I'll even use on nuggets or fried fish on occasion. In any event, no matter how much I dislike ketchup, I can at least claim to use it mainly in normal ketchup venues. However, not many people know that ketchup also makes an excellent cake. I don't mean ketchup alone, of course- I'm not even certain how that would qualify as a baked good. "Ketchup cake", as it's fondly and oh-so-creatively referred to, has a sort of cinnamon and molasses flavor, and is beautifully paired with cream cheese frosting. Essentially, if you don't tell people what is in it, they'll never guess- sort of like pool water! I'd have to hope, though, that any cake I make is more pleasant to swallow than pool water. You can also add ketchup or pureed tomatoes to a chocolate cake to produce a creamier, moister texture and a more pungent flavor. Anyway, I plan to spend the upcoming weekend convincing my friends that "ketchup cake" is not as disgusting as it sounds. I'd like to rename it for greater mass appeal, but nothing comes immediately to mind except "Heinz and seek" cake, which might honestly be worse.

So Much for Commitment...

Alright, internet. You got me. I didn't even make it one day without breaking my "cake-a-day" promise! Let me explain, though...I really do have a valid excuse. Perhaps, in time, you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

A couple of months ago, my boyfriend damaged his knee skiing. Actually, it wasn't so much the skiing that damaged his knee- it was really the falling that did it. Either way, he seemed to be recovering well until Tuesday night, when he fell on the stairs. I rushed (at some 80 miles an hour or so) over to his place and spent the night so he didn't have to get up and walk if he needed anything. Frankly, I know he's an adult, and he likely would have been fine without me; but, it wasn't a big deal at all for me to go over there, and, if it saved him some pain and annoyance, it was well worth it. I'm not just saying that because I know he's liable to read this. He's truly a good human being, and I'm lucky to have him in my life. If I can do something to make his life a little easier or better, I'll do it.

Wow, that's corny. It would seem that when I make the effort to express myself in a non-sarcastic, genuine manner, I simply come out sappy. I have two settings: "biting sarcasm" and "bad 'Lifetime Original Movie'". Well, that second one is redundant. "Lifetime Original Movie" would have sufficiently implied "bad".

Anyway, here are two cakes to make up for my terrible indiscretion. Also, it does occur to me that there is tremendous irony in having the headline "So Much for Commitment..." right next to a wedding cake, but it makes me giggle, so I'm leaving it that way.

A Cake a Day Keeps Me Away...From the Computer.

Ok, internet. I've got to pace myself, here. I got a bit over-zealous yesterday, so I'm imposing a "one-cake-per-day" rule. That's right! That's ALL you get, internet. You better be happy with it, too, because I'm sticking to it. I will persevere!

Honestly, this is likely to last about a week, if that. Once I get this blog going a bit more, I have to assume that I will post cakes as they are created, and it will be more sporadic.

In any event, enjoy this wedding cake, cruisers of the inter-tubes! It was white cake with vanilla buttercream and apricot filling.

In Other News...

Hello there, internet! Here I am in my living room, watching my roommate, Jesse, play "God of War", smelling the catfish my other roommate, Alex, is frying, and missing the Caps game. I'm a HUGE Caps fan, and, since my beloved Saints already won the Superbowl this year, I'm hopeful that the Caps can make this my dream year and win the Stanley Cup. Since I can't grow a playoff beard, I'm instead pledging to make a spectacular Caps cake in celebration of our inevitable victory. I will, of course, post pictures. In the meantime, here's a kitschy birthday cake and a seasonably inappropriate Valentine's Day cake.

38 Flavors: I've Got Baskin-Robbins Beat!

I'm always in the process of developing new flavors, but here's the list as it currently stands:

1. Milk Chocolate
2. Dark Chocolate
3. White Chocolate
4. Vanilla (White)
5. Vanilla (Yellow)
6. Vanilla/Chocolate Swirl
7. Strawberry
8. Banana
9. Pineapple
10. Orange
11. Raspberry
12. Key Lime
13. Cherry
14. Lemon
15.Coconut
16. Amaretto
17. Chocolate Kahlua
18. Dark Chocolate Rum (With or Without Chocolate Chips)
19. Milk Chocolate Rum (With or Without Chocolate Chips)
20. White Chocolate Rum (With or Without Chocolate Chips)
21. Pistachio
22. Chocolate/Pistachio Swirl
23. Cinnamon Swirl
24. Honey
25. Peanut Butter
26. Mint
27. Mint Chocolate Chip
28. Root Beer
29. Rocky Road
30. Green Tea
31. Red Velvet
32. Chocolate Bacon
33. Red Bull
34. Mocha
35. Vanilla Pound Cake
36. Chocolate Pound Cake
37. Butterscotch
38. Pecan Praline

All flavors contain only high-quality, organic ingredients. Flavors can be combined in any way desired by the customer. Upon request, a completely new flavor will be created especially for your cake, and may even be added to the regularly-offered flavors!

Frostings include:

1. Vanilla Buttercream
2. Chocolate Buttercream
3. Lemon Buttercream
4. Raspberry Buttercream
5. Cream Cheese Frosting

Other frosting flavors are available upon request, as are fruit fillings.

I use marshmallow fondant to cover my cakes, but will use regular fondant upon request. Gum paste and modeling chocolate are used to do detailed figures.

Just for fun, here's another cake! This one was for a garden party, and was layered with milk chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla cake. It had vanilla buttercream frosting.

Getting Down to Business

I suppose I should mention that these cakes do cost money. Furthermore, I should probably explain my pricing, since telling you a cake will "cost money" doesn't really give you much information, now does it, internet?

My pricing works in the following manner:

1. Flat Fee: $50- This is the starting fee for ALL cakes and cupcakes. I will waive this fee for return customers and non-profit/charitable organizations.

2. Delivery Fee: $10 + $0.50/mile for distances over 20 miles- This is non-negotiable.

3. Per Person Fees: $2-$6/person, depending on the intricacy of the work- Discounts are available.

4. Cupcakes Fees: $1-$3/cupcake, depending on the intricacy of the work- Discounts are available.

5. Extra Fees: Variable- Extra fees may apply when ordering cakes with special effects, etc. These fees will always be discussed with the customer PRIOR to cake creation and PRIOR to the assessment of any payment.

Incidentally, here's a cake that's tangentially related to money. It was made for a birthday party, and was a lemon cake with raspberry buttercream frosting.

You're Lucky I'm Sick Today, Internet!

Well, World-Wide-Web, seeing as I'm feeling "under the weather" and will not be going near anyone's food today, I figure it will do me well to post as much here as possible. That way, I can feel like I did something productive with my day, and perhaps there will actually be something for all my friends to look at when I excitedly announce, "Hey, guys! I joined the internet!". This is big news, you see, since my friends think it's adorable that I'm still discovering new web comics and am still in complete awe of how many cat pictures/videos are contained within this vast network. Anyway, have a picture of a zombie cake. This was a red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting; it bled red raspberry "goo" when cut. Halloween is, by far, my favorite cake-making holiday, and this was, by far, my favorite Halloween cake.

Here Goes Nothing...

Well, hello again, blog-o-sphere! I'm going to make my first attempt at posting a picture here, and I'm starting you off with one of my very favorites. It's a castle cake I made for a child's birthday party. It was a peanut butter cake with chocolate buttercream, as I recall. Speaking of, I also intend to post my list of 38 flavors ASAP. I'm sure you're simply dying from anticipation, internet!

Inaugural Post

...so despite being in my twenties, I've just recently discovered the internet. I actually had to Google "How to start a blog" just to find this website. Bottom line: Please bear with me as I figure out the inner workings of the inter-webs!

I'm the owner of a small cake-making business, and I'd like to get my cakes out there for the world to see, and hopefully admire. Also, I'm sick of having to say, "No, I don't have a website. Can I email you my portfolio?".

"For Heaven's Cake" (or, as my friends call it, "I can't believe you think this is a real job!") serves the MD/DC/VA area. I do wedding cakes, Bar/Bat Mitzvah cakes, birthday cakes, and, ummmm, cakes of a lewder variety for bachelor and bachelor-ette parties. I also make themed cakes for all holidays. As a result, I'm frequently tinted with food dye and almost always smell like vanilla.

As soon as I can figure out how to do so, I'll be uploading pictures. If this proves impossible, I'll be begging my net-savvy friends into doing so for me. In any event, there will be pictures to be had shortly.